Rescue

Tonight at Overflow there was a speaker. He talked for about 5 minutes and didn't use any Bible. I had a large disagreement with what he said, and this is why: He started off saying we need to remember why we're Christians, which is the one thing that I agreed with. Then he said that we needed to remember our feelings when we first got saved... happiness, etc... then feel that continually. First off, I got saved when I was 8ish. It was less happy happy joy joy than it was "oh, that makes sense." Secondly, one's faith should not be based off of feelings, by any means. The guy continued, however. He said that God really just wanted us to be happy and wanted to bless us. That's all. Which I think is totally wrong. That's not... Biblical at all. At least according to my readings of the Bible.

I also have had a sort of thing going on with me for the past few days. Essentially, I've been wondering where the rescue is. You know... how God is supposed to be rescuing us from ourselves. I still feel very trapped in self. I am constantly wading through my own sin. I see so much junk in my life. I want to be a great Christian guy, and sometimes I can be that, but other times I baffle myself about how duel-sided I am. I guess I'm just wondering what I should be seeing in my life. As a Christian. Now, I see fruit, mind you. I see myself grow in Christ. But all the time while I'm growing, I see my faults and imperfections getting clearer and more refined. Are we supposed to free ourselves from this? Is Christ supposed to free us?
I'm just sick of singing to Jesus one minute, then turning my back on Him the next. I wish I didn't do that.

I'm confused about next year. I have various living options. Do I live with guys who I believe are Christians, but seriously off the path, yet are great friends with me? Or do I live with guys who are great Christians, and also great friends with me, but perhaps not as good friends? Or something else altogether... the Jesus house or BYX house or something? I don't know. I have too many friends, maybe? Or no best friends. Or maybe I'd call the guys who aren't following Christ my best friends, and I feel bad about that? I don't know.

I finished Mark, now I'm headed onto and through Luke. I like where the disciples are questioning Jesus about how to get to heaven after the rich man wouldn't sell everything. They are more or less depressed, and ask how anyone at all has a chance of entering Heaven. In the Message (hey, I'm reading it right now, so I'll quote it), Jesus says: "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourselves. Every chance in the world if you let God do it." I like that.

And it's always comforting to hear people say that no matter how much we mess up, we can not lose God's grace. Super-comforting.